WISDOM OF THE WORLD - WEEK 11

Any pleasure

There was a man who died and found himself in a beautiful place, surrounded by every conceivable comfort. A white jacketed man came to him and said, “You may have anything you choose-any food- any pleasure- any kind of entertainment.”

The man was delighted, and for days he sampled all the delicacies and experiences of which he had dreamed on earth. But one day he grew bored with it all, and calling the attendant to him, he said, “I am tired of all this. I need something to do. What kind of work can you give me?”

The attendant sadly shook his head and replied, I’m sorry, sir. That’s the one thing we can’t do for you. There is no work here for you.

To which the man answered, “That’s a fine thing. I might as well be in hell.”

The attendant said softly, “Where do you think you are?”

Chomperical

Recently it has come to my attention that robots are a potentially dangerous threat to my well-being. As a result, I’ve been looking into acquiring some materials to build an article of robot armor for my self. Now, ideally, I would like to build an armor out of either grade 5 or 38 titanium of thickness of 3 inches with carbon fibers threaded throughout and external diamond coating. All this will then be built on top of a polyester jacket to allow for casual wearing. My robot armor will be kind of expensive so I am accepting donations from my readers in order to see its completion.

I just exited the house when I was presented by the world with a chainlink fence running in front of my face. Usually these are of good quality, but this one had lots of metal cord ends sticking out. The entire fence had sort of a wavy bendy quality to it. I blame it on poor writing. Well, anyway, I was walking alongside it, and my gaze was attached to it, causing my stride to inadvertently angle towards the fence. I continued to take steps forward, causing my eye to come in contact with one of the metal barbs, getting pierced, then sliced across and scratching the side of my face along to my ear. The whole matter probably inconvenienced me only a fraction of a second though. Arriving at a break in the fencing, I entered and saw a concrete loftcube in a large crater. I realize this was probably someone else’s home, but I think it’s my duty to enter the homes of various people and explore them. All that there was available to eat was some sodypop and clay, which is rather bland for my tastes, so I took out my trusty bottle of cock sauce and had myself one fine chow time. Reminded me of the days when I used to wear the old nosebag.

~...~

Our auto stopped for some reason, unable to continue, probably because it stopped. I deboard and am next to a construction site with a large chainlink fence going alongside it. A dirt path leads through, so I walked through; it’s okay I guess, other people were visiting here too. As I got to the entrance, a group of naked people covered in a cloud of mud comes into my field of vision. They were heading north, but not actually moving, so I decided to head north myself. It got to be dark in the evening, and I notice that in my possession is the framework for a pyramid with a lit up bluish/whitish corepiece. I started to wonder about it, and I notice a guy standing next to me so I bug him about it: “do you think you could see this from 700 meters away, perhaps vertical distance too?” “Uh, I guess so.” That seemed to satisfy my curiosity for the moment and I didn’t think any further on the matter.

5 MINUTES WITH - LINDA MCGRORY

Linda is the founder and editor of InishowenNews.com – a free daily online news service for the people of Inishowen. The website was set up in March 2007 by Linda and her husband, Brendan Deehan, a web designer. The couple are delighted to be celebrating the website’s first anniversary. Year one has seen InishowenNews.com go from strength-to-strength with its daily updated news, obituaries, community notes, sport and photographs. Also, the expanding Business Directory at InishowenNews.com helps people to quickly find local products and services online. From its early days with only a few hundred visitors, the website now has more than 10,000 loyal readers every month and continues to grow rapidly.


What have you been downloading on your iPod?- what music/radio station do you listen to?
I don’t have an iPod but I do have a Nintendo DS (Braintraining) – Does that make me a bit more hip again? I listen to many radio stations, both local and national, and I do most of my channel hopping in the car. I like many types of music but one of my favourite musicians is Bruce Springsteen.


What would you never throw away?
My contacts book – it’s your most important tool as a reporter.


What book are you reading?
‘District and Circle’ by Seamus Heaney.


What was your favourite childhood game?
There were many, but I liked Chinese Ropes – remember that anyone?


Have you been to the cinema recently?
Haven’t been to the cinema recently – too busy. The last DVD I watched was ‘The Devil Wears Prada’. Entertaining enough but it would have been useless without Meryl Streep.


What section of the newspaper do you turn to first?
I always start with the front page and go from there – I’ll root out the Sudoku puzzle at night sometimes to wind down.


What is your idea of a good night out?
A nice meal followed by a comedy show or a good concert.


Most embarrassing moment of your life?
Have you got all day?


What is your idea of a great meal?
I love Thai food, Indian and Italian – and it’s hard to beat a bit of fresh fish cooked simply.


Have you a favourite TV programme?
I’m a Countdown addict – I record it and watch it later. I also like the legal drama Damages and Property Ladder.


How do you relax?
I love walking by the sea – either the Moville/Greencastle Shore Walk or along Lough Swilly from Ned’s Point to Stragill – bliss. We’re so lucky to have those natural resources so close to us.


What job did you want to do when you were a child?
I always wanted to be a reporter/writer.


Where would you like to go for your holidays?
Cuba. I would also like Brendan and I to go on a road trip around Montana and Wyoming in America.


Your idea of heaven?
A white sandy beach, warm aqua blue waters and nothing to do but relax.


Your idea of hell?
Being stuck in bumper-to-bumper traffic on a wet, cold night. Thankfully, we don’t have that problem in Inishowen.

What famous people would you invite around for dinner and why?
One would be Morgan Freeman – he’s a great actor and has the most mesmerising voice.

Favourite animal?
I like friendly dogs – but haven’t got one yet. I like my neighbour Kathleen Barr’s dog Bobbi. She’s so friendly and stands outside my house when I’m making chowder. My sister Irene has a great cat who plays fetch-the-ball and has the strangest miaow – it sounds like a fire engine siren.

Biggest fear?

Bereavement.

Biggest delight?

Holidays and days off work.

The world’s most irritating invention?

Alarm clock.


Personal philosophy?
Life is short and nobody knows what’s round the corner – try to appreciate what you have.


What is your idea of a good night in?
Nice meal, preferably cooked for me, and a good DVD.


World’s most useful invention?
The lists goes on…internet, the car, microwave porridge…


Any last words?
Hope last words aren’t needed for a while yet!

Hungry! I like eating food!

I’m uneasy about posting right now, because I don’t want to set up a precedent that when readers pester me, I respond with an internote post immediately. But I also have progress about the reprint of my cookbook: there is no new progress.

I gave away all my brownies, so I was sort of feeling depressed. I left the house, and continued in the direction I was heading and soon I reached a three way intersection. There were a bunch of trees on one side of the street, maybe it was a forest preserve or a park. A bunch of people were standing there, so I had to discuss with one of them about how to observe decision processes. And by discuss, I mean we each took turns, one person explains their arguments and the other side takes out headphones and rocks out to some tuneskis, then goms;;u, the side that was able to say the most words without repetition holds correctness. I won of course. The other guy didn’t even utter a word. After this, we headed down east. The sidewalk was all smashed and torn up in disrepair. Some slabs were raised, exposing dirt underneath corners. An occasional tree root was visible. It got to be what must have been a few hours, so we all decided to head back in an auto one of the people happened to bring with.

~“Let’s open our next letter here... oh I get so excited reading these! Hmm... ‘Dear Barley Chef: I was exercising my creativity the other day, and I came up with a brilliant idea! I love to eat soups, but I needed a delicious new noodle to make it extra special. And then it hit me: to make a barley noodle...’”. The television grew silent for a moment, and I watched a grave look come over Barley Chef’s face. “I’m terribly sorry everyone, but the Barley Chef Hour is cancelled forthwith.”~

I felt on top of the world after that swig of milk, but I really had to use the washroom. Some guy was sitting in the corner, facing the wall, and crying while eating something. Next to him I saw a couple brownies sitting on the floor. This scene got me kind of hungry, so I pulled out my plate of brownies and started working on those. I felt it was sort of a special moment the two of us had. Just enjoying some excellent chomps. Neither of us said a word to the other, but we didn’t need to. I think we both understood each other without speaking by means of the brownies.

WISDOM OF THE WORLD - WEEK 10

If Children

If children live with criticism,
They learn to condemn.
If children live with hostility,
They learn to fight.
If children live with ridicule,
They learn to feel shy.
If children live with shame,
They learn to feel guilty.
If children live with tolerance,
They learn to be patient.
If children live with praise,
They learn to appreciate.
If children live with fairness,
They learn justice.
If children live with security,
They learn to have faith.
If children live with approval,
They learn to love themselves.
If children live with acceptance and friendship,
They learn to find love in themselves.

5 MINUTES WITH - GERALDINE GRAHAM

Geraldine lives in Muff and runs the Lenamore Stables and Training Centre. The stable is a Centre of Excellence and it one of the only few places in the North west where people can train to become a qualified instructor in the profession. Geraldine has been in the equine industry for nearly thirty years. The stables not only instruct on horse riding, they stable horses and breed sport horses as well. The young sport horses are also trained at the centre and go through a four-year programme to get them ready for the discipline. Lenamore stables are preparing for a busy season starting this Easter. There will be a trek to Grianan, pony club games and treasure hunts. There will also be the ever popular –Own Your Own Pony For a Week Course! Here you can learn everything there is to know about what it entails to keep a pony of your own. Registered show jumping also starts on Easter Monday and will run every consecutive Sunday for four weeks, so it’s all go at Lenamore! For further details about booking riding lessons or any of the forthcoming events phone 9384022 or check out the website on http://www.lenamorestables.com/


What music are you listening to at the moment?
I am enjoying the Westlife CD ‘Home’


What would you never throw away?
Horse rugs. My mother at the age of 89 still mends them for us at the centre.

What book are you reading?
I have a book by the side of my bed and I wouldn’t be without it. Daily Reflections for Highly Effective People by Stephen R Covey. All I do is open it at a page and read.

Have you been to the cinema recently, what did you see and was it any good?
The Bucket List with, Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman. The plot is about two terminally ill men who escape from a cancer ward and head off on a road trip with a wish list of to-dos before they die.

What section of the newspaper do you turn to first?
I always go to the stars section. I enjoy the horoscopes!

What is your idea of a good night out?
Give me champagne and smoked salmon…with a bit on the side!

What is your idea of a great meal?
I love Swiss cuisine especially a variation of Rösti, a potato dish. I make mine with chicken although the original recipe has veal in it.

How do you relax?
I enjoy being pampered in a spa. I go down to the Ballyliffen Lodge sometimes to treat myself.


What job did you want to do when you were a child?
I always wanted to work with horses. I got my first pony when I was nine years old and never dreamt of doing anything else.

Did you go anywhere nice for your holidays?
I had the most fantastic time in Dubai this year. I received an invitation to go to the Jameriah Beach Hotel, which is the only seven star hotel in the world! You couldn’t wish for a better present!

Your idea of heaven?
I have been over to St Lucia in the Caribbean a couple of times. It is so relaxing.

What famous people would you invite around for dinner and why?
Jos Lasick. He is the World Show jumping Champion. I am sure we would have a lot to talk about and he could teach my son some riding techniques.

Favourite animal?
Anyone who comes to the stables will see Ralph, my dog. He is nearly seven and he is adorable.

Biggest fear?
Senile dementia in old age.

Biggest thrill?
Swimming on horseback in the Caribbean. Fantastic!

The world’s most irritating invention?
It will have to be like most peoples, the mobile phone. I do have one but I wish I didn’t.

Personal philosophy?
Anything can be done if you put your mind to it.

What is your idea of a good night in?
Sleep!

Which period in history would you most like to have lived through?
I am very happy with the present day, thank you very much.

World’s most useful invention?
A handy man!

Any last words?
C’est la vie.

WISDOM OF THE WORLD WEEK 8 - THE ILLUSION OF FEAR

One evening, a man in India walked into a small darkly lit room and saw a snake coiled in the corner. He was instantly frozen to the spot with fear. If he moved the snake would bite him. It looked like a big snake, a poisonous snake, and one whose bite would be fatal. What could he do? He stood there, not daring to move, images of his wife becoming a widow and his children fatherless. Full of regrets for all that he did not do and desperate plots and plans to either kill the snake or get away filled his mind. For hours he stood there, praying for help.

As the sun rose and the room became filled with it’s rays, he saw that the snake was in fact, just a rope.

How often does our perception play tricks on us and we see what is not the truth but an illusion. Our fears are often not based in reality, but we act as if they are and these can affect our relationships, our thoughts and our actions. Can we wake up to what is real and see our illusions for what they are?