WISDOM OF THE WORLD - WEEK 88

Digging A Way Out

There's a man who has been by himself in a prison cell with a dirt floor, crude stone walls, and there's two windows one of which looks out towards the ocean. All of the sudden, he hears a scratching noise, and he looks down at the ground that is furthest away from the window facing the ocean. He sees the ground moving, and he starts to think he's losing his mind. But soon the ground breaks, and up pops a head with long hair and a beard... it's a prisoner.

And the prisoner says "Sssh. Listen. A group of us have been tunnelling for about six years, and we've finally reached your cell. We have ways to cover up my entrance into this, but now it's all on your shoulders, man. All you have to do," he said while pointing out the window towards the ocean, "you just start digging here and go down about six feet and about 75 feet in that direction and there is freedom, and we're out of here!"

"Oh, I love that! That's great; I want to be free!"

"Okay, I'll check back with you in a few weeks."

Two weeks later, he pops back in to check on his friend's progress, and his friend nods back with great affirmation. "Yeah, I've done it."

So the man who was providing the instructions pops down the hole, and two seconds later pops right back up and says, "What have you done?!?!?"

"Huh?"

"I told you to dig in the direction towards the OCEAN! This tunnel that you dug goes back under the wall and into the prison yard."

"Well, the digging was easier in the other direction..."

WISDOM OF THE WORLD - WEEK 87

Footsteps
Deep in his slumber, one night a man had a very real, yet surreal dream. He dreamt that he was walking along the beach with God. As he looked up at the sky, he saw all the scenes of his life flash by along with two sets of footprints: one set for himself, and another for God.

After all the scenes had flashed before him, he looked back at those footprints and noticed something quite disturbing: At the most difficult times in his life, he saw only one set of footprints.

This deeply troubled the man, so he turned and said to God: “You said that if I followed you, then you would always walk with me through thick and thin. In looking back, I see that during the most painful times there is only one set of footprints. Why did you leave me when I needed you the most?”

“I love you and would never leave. It was during those times when you suffered the most that I carried you.”

Mint M&M Bark

This recipe is a product of one of my biggest pet peeves. Peppermint ice cream is one of my all time favorite foods, but I can't understand why everyone insists on ruining it by putting candy cane pieces in it! I am not one to chew hard candy, I think it might be my neurotic obsession with my teeth. I mean when I am enjoying a nice smooth bowl of ice cream I don't want to have chomp on candy cane or worse swallow a bunch of ragged pieces.
Anyways how this is all relevant to the recipe to this recipe is that this is originally for peppermint bark, but I've replaced the candy cane pieces with a less offensive candy to chew, mint M&M's :)

So for Tracy, here's the recipe:

Ingredients:
2 cups (12 oz) White Chocolate Chips
appox. 1 cup Mint M&M's
Dash of Vanilla Extract (optional)

A word on M&M's: Make sure you get the classic mint M&M's that are only available for the holidays. They should come in a bigger bag. They also make a gourmet type mint M&M in small bags, but they don't have shells and will thus just melt into the chocolate. (Which will still taste pretty good but won't look the same)

Directions:

1. Melt chocolate in Microwave

2. Place M&M's in plastic bag and crush using a rolling pin.

3. Holding Strainer over melted chocolate pour crushed candy into strainer. Shake. Leave the larger pieces in the strainer.

4. Pour chocolate onto wax paper. Sprinkle with reserved larger pieces.

5. Allow to cool then break into pieces.

White Chocolate Fudge

This is going to have to be a short post because guess how much I've packed for our trip tomorrow... yup nadda nothing none.

Ingredients:
2 pkg. Baker's White Chocolate
3/4 cup Sweetened Condensed Milk
1 cup Almonds
1/2 cup dried cranberries
splash of vanilla extract

1. Line 8-inch pan with foil
2. Microwave chocolate and milk until melted (stiring frequently)
3. Add almonds, cranberries, and vanilla and stir well
4. Spread into prepared pan and refrigerate until firm.
5. Remove from pan and cut into pieces

CIRI CIRI ALAYY !!

1 . Alay Sok ImutisaurusAlay jenis ini suka ganti² kata baku yg indah menjadi "imut" . Tapi bukannya menjadi imut , tulisan itu malah bikin bingung , bahkan membunuh pembacanya !

Contoh :● makan → mumbth● sayang→ chaiiank → cayanqst

2 . Alay KapitalismeAlay jenis ini seneng pake huruf kapital dalam kalimat yg digunakannya . Duh , sadar ga sih ? Kita sbg pembaca jadi sakit mata . Ga bisa bedain huruf kapital ma huruf non-kapital ya ? Anak playgroup aja bisa . Nyahahahaha . . .

Contoh :- AgkuH bEndci dIa

3 . Alay Cocotion RosaniusAlay yg lg dibahas ini adalah alay yg mengerahkan seluruh jiwa raganya buat jejeritan ga karuan .

Contoh :
X : waaaa ! Iya dunkz beibthz , hahahahaha . . .
Y : iaa kALi yHa bebth , hihi . Aaaa !

Ps : biasanya mereka jejeritan sambil memble + nekuk lidah (biar kayak bule kali . Tapi malah jadi kayak bule Zimbabwe)

4 . Alay AngkaliciousIni nih salah satu tipe alay yg paling bikin sakit mata . Emang dunia ini kekurangan huruf ya , sampe² make angka buat nulis ? Kenapa ga sekalian pake aksara jawa aja biar mantep ? Wakakakakak . . .

Contoh :a9kuH La9y 53bel5 5am4 k4muH !

5 . Alay Hydrocepalus Lebaytun Melebay²kan .INI DIA RAJANYA ALAY . Paling hobby show off dan melebaykan kejadian yg dia alami . Padahal sebenernya sih biasa² aja .
Contoh :
X : kamu online dimana ?
Y : di blackberry storm agkoh t'cindtah . Kemarendt baruw dibeliindth sama daddy di Paris . Itu lho , ibukotanya Perancis . Ada pertemuand pengusaha sukses di seluruh dunia getoh .

Ps : ya ampun , beli blackberry di Mangga Dua juga banyak . Pake jauh² ke Paris segala . Lagian semua orang juga tau Paris itu ibukotanya Perancis . Sejak kapan ibukota Perancis pindah ke Bantargebang ? Nyas . . .

6 . Alay Sok BuleIni alay PALING SOK dunia per-alay-an . Sok pake enggris tapi kagak ada benernya . Kalo diliat artinya per kata , bener sih . Tapi waktu digandeng , beuh.. NTU KATA ARTINYA APAAN ? Wealah... Cuma translate amatir dari bahasa Indo . Sekalinya bener ternyata ? NYONTEK !

Contoh :Hi , Coro . What you know if I already are is have ? Oh ya , how you ? What you good² only ? Don't shy² cat lah .


JADI, APAKAH ANDA TERMASUK DALAM KATEGORI DI ATAS?? hahaha!!

Pumpkin Rolls

I was introduced to this amazing treat when I married my husband.
Ingredients:
3 eggs
1 cup sugar
2/3 cup canned pumpkin
1 tsp. lemon juice
3/4 cup flour
1 tsp. baking powder
2 tsp. cinnamon
1 tsp. ginger
1/2 tsp. salt
1/2 tsp. nutmeg
1/2 cup chopped nuts (optional)

Filling
1 cup powdered sugar
1 pkg. cream cheese
1/2 tsp. vanilla
4 Tbsp butter

Beat eggs on high for 5 min.
Gradually add sugar.
Stir in pumpkin and lemon juice.
Stir together flour, baking powder, cinnamon, ginger, salt, and nutmeg
Fold in pumpkin mixture
Spread onto greased parchment papered pan. (Top with nuts if using)
Bake at 375 for 15 minutes.
Turn onto or place parchment onto dish towel and sprinkle with powdered sugar.
Start at the narrow end and roll towel and cake together.
Allow to cool.
Beat all filling ingredients together until smooth. Unroll and spread filling over cake. Roll cake back up and freeze.
Once cold cut into pieces. (hint: it won't cut very well unless it's cold)

Fudge!

This is another easy peasy recipe that you can throw together in a sec. The fudge is tasty, not award winning but tasty and foolproof. (you'll see why this is important later)

Ingredients:
3 cups Chocolate Chips (I used semi-sweet)
1 can Sweetened Condensed Milk
1 tsp. Vanilla Extract

1. Combine Chocolate and Sweetened Condensed Molk
2. Microwave until chocolate is melted (stirring frequently, ever 10-30 sec)
3. Stir in Vanilla
4. Pour into wax-paper lined 9-inch pan
5. Let cool & harden cut into pieces

Ok so that was the pretty fudge I took to the neighbors now for complete honesty... I am absolutely HORRIBLE at making fudge! Last year my fudge was harder than a rock we broke it into pieces and gave it out as chocolate. This year I was committed to making good fudge so I started with Danny's family cookbook. (it's never led me astray yet) Things started out well I put the sugar and evaporated milk on the stove and let it boil for the 6 minutes. The whole time I stood right there so that nothing would happen to it. Somewhere along minute 3 or 4 my computer beeped letting me know I had an email...

I came back 10 seconds later to find this. So all that is in the pot is sugar and milk can someone explain the floating black pieces that appeared out of no where!?! At last my slight distraction had let to me burning the fudge. I knew that there was no rescue from this so I threw it out and searched for easy, foolproof recipes thus why my neighbors actually received fudge this year.